This is a hard place to be and there is not one thing that you can do to remedy a spouse wanting a divorce, but there are some questions you should ask yourself before moving forward with any decision. Use these guidelines to help you gather yourself and to help you begin to move forward on figuring out if staying together or filing for a divorce is the best choice.
1. Take time your time
Don’t rush this news! It’s best to simply give yourself some time to deal with this news and to make sure you are emotionally sound and free of anger before discussing this news any further. Talk to someone like a good friend, counselor or a family member that will not pick sides but will provide you with the best-unbiased feedback.
This question is sometimes clear and sometimes a total surprise when a spouse springs the news that they want a divorce. If the relationship has been rocky for a period of time and it was no surprise but you still want to stay married to your wife, it’s best to immediately address the issue. If this is a surprise, dig deeper for an explanation on why she wants a divorce from you. It is very rare that a spouse cannot detect that the relationship is at its end because others can sometimes not take as much as the other.
3. Can it be fixed?
This is totally depended on you and your relationship with your wife on whether the severity of the reasoning will prevent you guys from moving forward and overcoming this hurdle. Can you get her to commit to a period of time for you guys to try and get things back on the right track? Is she open to going to marriage counseling to get to the root of the issue? When ever possible utilize a third party to help move the conversation forward and help discuss the root of the problem without bias.
4. Are you willing to do anything?
How far are you willing to go to prevent a divorce from happening with your wife? This is a real question and you must be committed to doing everything in your power to make things work. There is no time to blame her for her feelings that she has, you can only do what you can in order to make the marriage work.
5. It’s okay to walk
We fear divorce because we have been with a person for a long time, we don’t want to be looked at as failures, we don’t want kids to be separated, or we simply want to try everything in our power to make it work. Whatever the direction, just know that it’s okay to know that you may have to walk away. Not because of selfish issues, but because this is best for the family, or you and her.