My wife wants a divorce but I don’t!

This is a hard place to be and there is not one thing that you can do to remedy a spouse wanting a divorce, but there are some questions you should ask yourself before moving forward with any decision. Use these guidelines to help you gather yourself and to help you begin to move forward on figuring out if staying together or filing for a divorce is the best choice.

1. Take time your time
Don’t rush this news! It’s best to simply give yourself some time to deal with this news and to make sure you are emotionally sound and free of anger before discussing this news any further. Talk to someone like a good friend, counselor or a family member that will not pick sides but will provide you with the best-unbiased feedback.

2. Why?
This question is sometimes clear and sometimes a total surprise when a spouse springs the news that they want a divorce. If the relationship has been rocky for a period of time and it was no surprise but you still want to stay married to your wife, it’s best to immediately address the issue. If this is a surprise, dig deeper for an explanation on why she wants a divorce from you. It is very rare that a spouse cannot detect that the relationship is at its end because others can sometimes not take as much as the other.

3. Can it be fixed?
This is totally depended on you and your relationship with your wife on whether the severity of the reasoning will prevent you guys from moving forward and overcoming this hurdle. Can you get her to commit to a period of time for you guys to try and get things back on the right track? Is she open to going to marriage counseling to get to the root of the issue? When ever possible utilize a third party to help move the conversation forward and help discuss the root of the problem without bias.

4. Are you willing to do anything?
How far are you willing to go to prevent a divorce from happening with your wife? This is a real question and you must be committed to doing everything in your power to make things work. There is no time to blame her for her feelings that she has, you can only do what you can in order to make the marriage work.

5. It’s okay to walk
We fear divorce because we have been with a person for a long time, we don’t want to be looked at as failures, we don’t want kids to be separated, or we simply want to try everything in our power to make it work. Whatever the direction, just know that it’s okay to know that you may have to walk away. Not because of selfish issues, but because this is best for the family, or you and her.

Divorce Corp (Must Watch)

Documentary Paints Horrific Picture of Intimidation, Collusion,

and Excessive Billing in Family Courts”

– HuffingtonPost

 

DIVORCE CORP Documentary
If you have any plans or are in the process of getting a divorce, this film is a must watch. Although must of us are aware of the cost of getting a divorce is extremely high, the documentary points out many issues within the family court system today.

We here at MedLawPlus recommend that you take a look at this documentary. Oh yeah and make sure your spouse does to! Check out the preview:

(UPDATE 2017) This documentary has raised quite a stir in the judicial system and viewers have taken to the internet to express their own experiences. After watching this movie, it’s easily to understand that the family law divorce process is problem and need to be fixed.

Filling an uncontested divorce in Florida without an court appearance

Are you looking to file an uncontested divorce in Florida and you don’t want any court appearances? If you are serious about filling a divorce in the state of Florida, you have reached the right site in helping you reduce the burden of trying to figure things out on your own.

If you want to file a divorce in Florida, you must understand the process and what will allow you and your partner not to have to show up to court for a divorce. The number one thing is that both of you will first have to agree that you will be in total agreement about who gets what because any disagreements will warrant for a court to get more involved and the cost will skyrocket.

To get started on understanding the divorce process in Florida, check out our article here on how to file a Florida divorce.

Divorce Cheat Sheet of Tips

Getting divorced is a big, complex mess. You need to get a lawyer, divvy up your possessions, fight over the kids and find a new special someone to spend your life with. These quick tips will help you maintain your sanity and keep everything under control as you undergo this arduous process.

1. Treat Your Ex Like A Person

You’re not alone in your divorce. No matter what happened to end your marriage, your ex is going through a lot of the same stresses that you are. You don’t have to bond over your shared anguish here — just give your ex a little common courtesy and try to work with them during your split. Being on speaking terms is the difference between an easy custody split that both of you are happy with and a painful court battle where you both lose.

2. Find Someone You Can Talk To

Divorce brings out a lot of emotions — sadness over your lost relationship, confusion over what’s going on with your life, and happiness that you get to leave your dead relationship and move on towards the future. Being able to discuss your feelings with someone will help you maintain a clear head as you move forwards. Find a friend, family member, therapist or counselor that you feel comfortable sharing with and have a heart-to-heart on a regular basis. Don’t make the mistake of using your lawyer for this role. While he or she is paid to talk to you, they’ll be much more expensive and much less effective than a therapist or a friend.

3. Put Your Issues Behind You

You’re divorcing your spouse. Whatever argument or issue broke up your marriage is in the past. There’s no reason to keep fighting now that you’re no longer married. It’s okay to stand your ground — if your ex wants something unreasonable in the divorce, for example, it’s perfectly fine to deny them and argue your case. Otherwise, let them live their new life without you. It’ll save you a lot of headaches, stress and time.

4. Present A Unified Front

If you have kids, it’s important not to fight in front of them. You and your ex are very important to your children. No matter what they’ve done to end the relationship, keep your fight private and away from your kids. You can quietly explain the reasons behind your divorce later, if your kids are old enough. Otherwise, stay neutral at worst. “Daddy wanted to spend time with other women” is a lot better for a 10 year old to hear than “your father was a cheating bastard.”

5. Take Care of Yourself

When you were married, you had a person looking out for you. Now that you’re divorcing them, you need to fill that role yourself. Take time out of each day to do things you enjoy. Make sure that you exercise, eat right and take care of your living environment. It’s easy to lapse into laziness or depression. By taking the time to build healthy habits to take care of yourself, you’ll ensure that you’re happy and fit when you’re ready to move on with your life.

Dealing With Emotions

Anyone who has gone through the harrowing experience of a divorce understands that it is a complex issue which can take a long time to deal with. Every aspect of the divorce process has a way of chipping away at the resilience of the individual and breaking down the strongest of barriers. In particular, the emotional roller coaster can be extremely draining and may even be detrimental to the health and wholeness of a person if not properly dealt with.
The divorce process has been likened to the grieving process where the response of the parties involved simulates what one goes through at the death of a loved one, or a traumatic experience. According to Elisabeth Klubber-Ross, the following are the stages of grief one goes through in the event of traumatic events such as divorce or death;
Denial – The individual denies what is actually taking place; he thinks it is a misunderstanding and that there is a way to work around it.
Resentment and anger – The individual battles anger and resents their partner. Most times they will be wondering what they did to deserve the bitter blow of divorce.
Bargaining – The individual negotiates with the partner in a frantic effort to salvage what is left of the marriage; this for instance may come with promises to change behavior in future to keep the marriage intact.
Depression – The individual comes to terms with the full reality of what is really happening and realizes they cannot do much to prevent the inevitable; this negatively affects how the person behaves and responds to issues.
Acceptance – The individual realizes that the dreaded divorce has taken place and that they need to accept it and move on in life, even if it what not what they had wanted initially.
Every person going through divorce has their own unique way of dealing with the emotions associated with it; it is easier for some and harder for others. However, it is possible for individuals going through the divorce to handle it in a way that will not further aggravate the already troublesome matter.

Some of the ways of dealing with the emotions experienced during divorce include:
• Surrounding yourself with family members who understand you and who are likely to empathize with you in your situation. Open up to them and share your sentiments about the divorce; express your fears and any other doubts or negative feelings you may be experiencing. Family will provide a vital pillar for support during the whole process.
• Seeking professional help from an attorney, a counselor or both. Let the professionals guide you through the process to be followed in every step of the way. This will help you to deal with the divorce in a much better way than if you were handling it without any help at all.
• Avoid retaliating, for instance in an argument. Try and resist any urge to react depending on how you are feeling as this will only aggravate the issue at hand more. Take time out to cool off and do something different that will relax your mind and allow you to be in better shape to handle any arising issue in a level-headed way.

 

Top 5 Reasons Why You Need a Divorce Lawyer

There are many people out there who choose to go through a divorce without a divorce attorney. This can be a great way to save money but if your are not diligent in this process then seeking help would be your best option. There are reasons why divorce lawyers exist. With a divorce attorney by your side during this difficult time in your life, you will have someone that will make the process of ending your marriage smooth and easy.

Divorce attorneys will also protect your interests. A divorce is major milestone in your life that should be handled in the best way possible. When you have divorce lawyers handling your divorce, you can be sure that your marriage will come to an end in manner that causes you and your family the least pain. Here are 5 reasons why you should hire divorce lawyers when your marriage is coming to an end;

1. Divorce lawyers will take full charge of negotiations with the other party

Divorce lawyers have dealt with many divorce cases in the past. After analyzing your situation, they will fight on your behalf for what you deserve to get from your marriage. They will get you the best settlement. If you decide to negotiate by yourself, there is a high likelihood that you will not get a deal that is as good as that negotiated by divorce attorneys.

2. They will give you dispassionate advice

When you are going through a divorce, emotions usually run deep. At this state, it is impossible to make clear minded decisions. This can make it very difficult to finalize the divorce in a way that suits you, your family and your partner. Attorneys will advice you accordingly after carefully looking at all the circumstances of your divorce.

3. You will get help with the paperwork

Before your divorce can go through, there is whole lot of paperwork that should be taken care of. An attorney will take care of all the paperwork on your behalf. This will help you to save a great deal of energy and time. Furthermore, all the details will be filled correctly and in a timely manner.

4. Divorce lawyers will help to make sure that your divorce stays civil

When you have divorce attorneys representing you, the divorce process will go through faster. The faster the divorce process, the less likely it is for it to go from bad to worse. This is because divorce attorneys do everything legally, fast and efficiently. A good attorney will ensure that your divorce is finalized before things get more acrimonious.

5. All complications will be handled in a professional manner

A divorce is never simple. Therefore, you are really misleading yourself if you think that you can end your marriage on friendly terms. When you decide to go your separate ways, you have to decide how to share your property and responsibilities. Every little detail should be defined. A good lawyer will take care of all things, from child custody, to who gets the house, who gets the TV, who takes the kids on vacations, who gets the pets among other issues.

Coping with Your Divorce Tips

Your divorce is the end of your relationship. It’s a messy, complicated legal process that drags out your breakup process over weeks or months. It’s normal to have mixed feelings during and after your divorce. No matter whose ‘fault’ things were, you and your spouse were invested in building a future with each other. Your divorce forces both of you to abandon those dreams and go on in search of a new path through life. These tips will help you cope with the emotional turmoil that your divorce brings.

Take Care of Yourself

There are two things you should focus on doing to stabilize yourself emotionally. First, you should make sure that you’re taken care of. When you were with your spouse, you had a person living with you to help make sure that you were happy and well cared for. You’re no longer married to that person. Try to make time for *you* every day. Spend time doing things you enjoy. Take a few moments each day to make sure you’re happy with your environment. Prioritize your health, safety and happiness.

Don’t make big decisions (like moves or career changes) during or shortly after your divorce. It’ll probably take a few weeks before you’re ready to move on. Stay strong, stick to a routine and avoid drugs and alcohol while you wait. Assess your emotional state regularly to see how you’re coping. If you don’t notice any change after several weeks, consider seeing a therapist — you may be depressed.

Build A Network

Make sure that you have a network of friends and family that can help support you. It’s important that you don’t go through your divorce alone. It can be tempting to cloister yourself in and steer clear of social interaction. Don’t fall into this trap! If you’re uncomfortable talking with your old friends, you can reach out to your family or explore other social avenues and try to build a social network independent of your spouse. 

While it’s important that you talk to someone about what you’re going through, you don’t have to share everything with all of your friends. Consider seeing a counselor or therapist if you’re uncomfortable talking with friends or family. Talking about what you’re going through out loud will help you sort through the issues you’re facing and move on with your life.

Accept Your Emotions

Many people feel confused, frustrated, sad and happy about their divorce — often all at the same time. Don’t worry about your feelings. It’s normal to feel sad even after a terrible marriage. Your natural reaction is to grieve for the death of your relationship. Allow yourself to experience whatever emotions come naturally. Trying to deny your feelings or suppress them will only result in further emotional turmoil.

Move On At Your Own Pace

Your recovery process is about you, not your ex. Start dating again when you feel you’re ready, not when you think it’ll make your ex jealous. Schedule your time with the kids when it’s convenient for you, not when it’ll interfere with your ex’s schedule. By thinking positively and looking out for yourself, you can avoid falling into this trap and start living independently rather than letting your ex’s shadow govern your life from afar.